starting to be desperate, i started reading some books on how to make up with an ex. i found out that the guides are usually for couples who broke up, not necessarily with a third party involved. anyway, it did somewhat help. you see, the books says that before you can get back with your ex, you have to take care of yourself first. my first reaction would be "easier said than done" as the book continued to block all your intuitions of sending messages or even feeling alone and depressed. again, easier said than done. but what i learned is that you have to have a level head. irrational decisions and actions will only sink yourself further.
last night i took care of myself by treating my not so bothersome warts on my thumb. only a few really notice it but it was worth removing. there was a free consultation so i jumped the gun, only to realize that i have to shell out 11,000 pesos for the treatment. WTF! but being sad and irrational i said go!
i'm happy i already treated the problem but i worry on how will i get my money back. but before that, my next project are my teeth. another hole in the pocket for me.
i got home and no one was around. it only helped to add to my loneliness. i went to my room and cried my eyes out. didn't even care if the neighbors heard me. i just wanted to cry. i asked God for answers but in the end, it was me who had the decision. yes, it is hard. and to be perfectly honest, as i'm writing this blog i'm still thinking of my one and only star. she was the best. but for now i got to do 2 things, first is to trust God with all my heart, and second, to give myself one month of rest to acclimatize and take care of myself whatever that means.
this is blog number 3.
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