quiet (another thought of the hopeless romantic)

and i thought i was cured of the valentine's fever... the numbness towards the 14th was short-lived. how i wish i at least asked you out on hearts day, regardless of the answer...

just like that, you broke my heart's silence. im looking for someone like you, yet again. i think you fell asleep. just a few minutes ago, we were exchanging thoughts, connecting... or at least on this side, i'm trying to connect. i was learning you...

i hear my phone beep and i read the message. looking at the shortened words, i was imagining the pretty face behind it. beyond the colored screen was your thumb pressing the message that your mind made. insignificant as it may seem, those few moments made my day. then it was quiet.

now i dare you to fall asleep again. but this time, fall asleep on my arms...

v-day dismay

an hour and thirty minutes after valentine's day and i feel numb. for the nth consecutive time, the day of hearts have nothing to offer. well, i think last year was something... i remember flowers and smiles? oh wait, that's crazy talk. as i've said, for the nth time, the day of hearts have nothing to offer.

the valentine's fever has been controlled. compared to previous years, this year's enthusiasm for valentine's day was stale. i woke up with only a single "happy valentine's day" text message waiting to be read. as far as i can remember, this day of february was like christmas when it comes to the influx of sms greetings.

and i thought the apathy for hearts' day only infects the single in status. friends with special someone's didn't even care to greet. i would think the day would be special for them and their happiness would resonate through the text world. but i guess they would rather save a peso than to commemorate the day for love...

any given thursday

i looked up and i saw john mayer's "any given thursday" cd on display. the pointless nostalgic was again in action. the live 2-disc cd was a birthday gift from my UP friends 3 years back. has it been that long?

forward to 2006 and the 9th of february landed on a thursday. as early as wednesday night i had a couple of birthday text messages from friends. woke up the next day 8am with a few more on my phone. it's funny how some unexpected people remember your birthday while some that matter don't...

i have an exam that afternoon, so i spent the early hours of the day studying. ok, not really. i spent roughly an hour for studying and the rest for channel surfing, texting, and of course, friendster. i finished the exam 30 mins early, not because i was sure at my answers, but because i really have to pee. it was cold in there. after which, i treated a few friends to some donuts and then called it a day. i was quite satisfied with how the day went.

the next morning, i woke up realizing that im not content with how the day went. except for the routine greetings and the fact that it was my birthday, it wasn't that special at all. and to add insult to injury, im still waiting for a couple of greetings from people that i consider close enough friends to know that my day just went by. last thursday was just like any other thursday of the year.

i know im not the only one with this drama. i guess we're just getting old for these kind of things. i just hope i don't turn out to be someone who forgets his own birthday.

crossing the IDL

5:09 and the cock's crows are saturating my ears. another day in the life of the insomniac? i doubt it; i sleep at an average of 10 hours a day. i'm getting enough sleep, if not too much. just like before, my body clock has gone haywire.

i've gone from automatic shutdown, to no shutdown at all. i've wanted to set my biological clock on time but it just keeps getting worse. just last semester, i usually fall asleep right after conan, just around 1am. then sembreak came and bedtime became 3am. now i'm at 5am going on 6. it's like i'm living on a different timezone now...

i guess this is baby step numero uno. i have to cross my international date line so i wont be one day behind of everyone. somehow, i should find a way to get my clock fixed and set it to "normal people" time.

a vision of the imminent

the results are in, "UP did it again!" for the nth time, 100% of UP students who took the pharmacy board exam this january are now RPh's. the thoughts of board exams and the celebrations that goes with it made me think my next move...

too much sleep and i forgot it's my turn. looking at the bigger picture scares the living hell out of me. graduation to board exam to finding work to getting work to settling down... the alarm clock sounds... oh yeah, i'm still here. breathe deeply... inhale... exhale.... how a bout taking it one step at a time? baby steps before the giant leap...

focus, focus... how about this for a plan: do well on your remaining academic units... graduate... party, and then if you still have time party some more and then just make a new plan... hmmm... smells like teen spirit? so then it's settled, that'll be the last time i act like a teenager. next stop: maturity...

rise

wake up my spirit

the deafening alarm sound

cradles my slumber

the battle

recalling the thoughts and sentiments of saturday night's party, i made a realization that this, in fact, had some basis: "nice guys finish last, bad guys have a blast..."

january must have been my oktoberfest during my previous life. a series of parties had my beer-o-meter at a maximum. and on a night of alcohol where words are stupid and idiotic, i somehow made good use of the beer talk.

an around-the-world experience of one was laid on the table. and i mean around-the-world experience. wink, wink. and with text messages of girlfriends asking their boyfriends not to drink too much, the talk boiled down to a "how to deal with women" open forum. and i tell ya, some nasty things were done to some former girlfriends. revenge, malice, cruelty, i'll leave it vague but you get the picture. after the confessions, i never saw any trace of regret. i think they were happy to do it, or at least content with the outcome.

...on the red corner, standing to my left, wearing red and holding a fork, he hails from the deep south... "el lucifero" satan! ...and fighting out of the blue corner, wearing a white robe and sporting a beard and long hair, he hails from nazareth, the son of God... hesus "el savior" christ! ...let's get ready to rumble!

was i doing it wrong? a point scored by the devil. i began to question my ways. could i get what i wanted and more if i chose to be wicked? another good blow by the devil. it just seems wrong to begin with... good right hook by the nazarene. i'll be happy outside but not on the inside... great uppercut! in the end, the "el savior" from nazareth was too good of a counterpuncher and on the 10th round scored a tko victory over satan.

oh well, i just have to live with the fact that nice guys do finish last... but at least my soul aint corrupt...

mabuhay manny pacquiao!

the drainage ditch misadventure

with nothing to do on a lazy thursday afternoon, a message alert tone from my phone was refreshing. at first i thought it came from a textmate sending random forwarded messages. but to my surprise, it was from asz asking me if i want to raise my alcohol level tonight. the invitation was long overdue, they've been inviting me to drink a few times last month but i declined. i assumed they're expecting another negative response, i thought i'd surprise them this time...

so then it was set, the lazy thursday would morph into a night of alcohol, loud music, and random thoughts. i have a 1 pm class the next day so we decided to drink at the newly renovated dao ming mansion in polo, malabon. lei was there early and xi men, a wild card, surprisingly joined the bash.
pepe smith's voice was rocking the joint when we entered the house, maybe signifying we're in for an interesting night. with san mig light joining the frame, we started rolling. talks of wrestling, a round of beer, then some thoughts on music, another round of beer, a debate on da vinci code, and some more beer. pretty much a normal beer bash for the four of us.

a case of beer, finished at around 10pm, and we were still rocking, or more appropriately, bouncin' to the beats of common. 10pm? a bit too early, let's buy some more beer, shall we?

another half case of beer done, that's a total of 9 bottles of beer for each one of us, now were singing our lungs out to some bon jovi stuff. is it me, or are we drunk at this point? the most beer i had before were 6 bottles, and i was barfing like crazy that night, it was a pleasant surprise that my gag reflex wasn't working on this night.
xi men said we're done, but asz brought out a half-empty bottle of fundador. and with DMX's rusty barks pumping the stereo, i was feeling cocky. three rounds later, we're definitely done. sleepy sleepy and it's time to go home. it was a perfect alcohol tolerance test at this point. but i guess, only to this point. and why not? a night won't be complete without one of us going home with an embarrassing story to tell the next day. lucky me.
while waiting for a ride home, disaster struck. we we're having fun on the highway, asz was lying on the empty road, and we were laughing like hell. next thing i recall was them helping me to get up. suddenly i realized i fell into an open drainage ditch and half of my left leg... let's just say it wasn't pleasant (sightwise and smellwise). good thing we were just in front of the house so i asked for an alternate lower garment. i went home wearing shorts and carrying a plastic bag of messed up pants... all in all that night was awesome!

the 0.6.

twelve days into the new year, the enthusiasm for change is scarce. i've been asking people their new year's resolution and the response was bland. it's as if having a resolution is something new when welcoming a new year. one argued that you can change anytime of the year, and queried what makes the new year special. she's probably right. but then again, why not NOW.
seems like the '06 had a bad first impression on some people. i saw a bulletin post with the heading "Happy new year?" then it asks "what's so happy about the new year?"

so what is so happy about the new year? it's too early to tell, but i won't let the bad vibes ruin this year for me. i just feel this year will be great for me, and you bet your ass you'll be hearing about it!

as the guy from orange county would say... welcome to the 0.6. b*tch!