stellar

a falling star grazed the galera night sky once and soon after the search for peace of mind was over. right then and there i started to believe. wishing upon a star was no child's play.

years passed and what seemed like an airplane in flames lighted up the night sky. i was bothered by the thought of a plane crash, but while still stunned by the scene, the huge ball of light faded away. then i realized, it's another falling star, another wish to be fulfilled.

the relative massiveness of the star was at par with the wish. never thought twice, i knew what i wanted. and when the 27th of the third month came, the wish was granted...

we are february stars floating in the dark. we seem lightyears away but the stars brought us closer. "one star is enough to light my world..." that says it all...

collide

just a few moments ago things are going great but a simple question changed the atmosphere. i was even thinking of a denial, but you know i can't lie to you. once again the indelible line is drawn. i did make the promise but i was caught-up in the moment. it was innocent, just the right combination of respect and affection.

it's the typical "how can it be wrong when it feels so right" scenario and i do understand where you're coming from. believe me i do. but i do hope you try and understand where i'm coming from...

so maybe i tried too hard, but it's all because of this desire... thanks john...

in circles

mornings are so much brighter these days. i've never been happier to force myself to wake up so early in the morning just to eat. never thought breakfast could be such a joy.

as the darkness fills the sky, the anxiety builds up. i need to catch the first jeepney, need to catch the first train. the night is on borrowed time and we have to make the most out of it.

the real wednesday showed her face. a routine walk turned into something greater. going round in circles was one of the silliest but sweetest thing we did. you were asking me when did i realize i liked you. never mind that. i just realized one better.

ask me when i realized i was in love with you, the answer is "here and now."

it's not about you now, it's what we are...

my gf

i read the book, i watched the tapes, i listened to the tales, still something's always wrong. step 1, check. step 2, check. everything's in place, everything's great. pass your papers. results are in. red marks and an encircled D. D for defeat...

i have always listened to the voice of reason. never once did i listen to the 2-horned red man who instructed me to take advantage of the feelings being thrown at me. i'll be the first to admit i'm not perfect, but that doesn't mean i'm not trying to be.

i've heard things like i'm not the sweetest guy around but i'm one of the kindest. thanks friends. but why do i feel like this does not have merit? time and time again trust simply just won't land on my hands. i do understand that it's not the easiest thing to ask from someone, but what else do i need to do? this is my greatest frustration...

tangled in my blanket of clouds

is it me or am i in another roller coaster ride? this time i forgot to fasten my seatbelt. hanging on for dear heart, i'm looking forward to a level track. let me settle in my seat for a moment... maybe its the previous rides that made me more brave when in fact it should be the reason why i should proceed with caution.

so far this is still a one-way ticket. far away, so close. i've seen this line before. that line was dotted long ago, this line still has a promise...

february stars

can't seem to find the words but i'll try...

there's a wall i can't get through. one day i felt like i already broke it down only to look up and see another one behind it. sometimes i feel like turning back, knowing there's someone just waiting for me to turn my head her way... but it's you i want, no one else.

i can try and hide all my feelings in all kinds of words but i know you know that this is all about you now. still your ears are closed, your eyes are shut, and your tongue is sly.

how was i to know you'd steal the show?

limelight

work was extended and it gave me a couple more hours to think. a few text messages sent and a few minutes of travel, suddenly i'm in my seat. the "sayaw manila 3" was about to start. maybe i just wanted to see her dance.

the lights dimmed and the national anthem played and the prayer of thanks was done in the form of a dance. from the start, i was impressed.

as i sit and watch number after number, something inside wanted to be heard. i miss the stage. i miss the crowd. i miss the butterflies in my stomach when dancing, singing, or simply being on stage. makes me wonder what could've been if i seriously pursued a career in any of the arts. i guess i figured the probability of me making it big is slim. my versatility has gotten the best of me that focusing on one is an impossibility.

uncleared

on monday, training will be officially over and i'll be on probation. with that, i was asked to bring in an nbi clearance and other requirements for HR. i asked our trainer if i could work on it friday morning and report in the office after lunch. our president overheard the conversation and told me i could have the day off.

my body is still adjusting to work. i'm so used to being part of the unemployed and not of the philippine workforce. it's no surprise that i took a couple more hours of sleep before getting my clearance.

during my first few years in college, i was a witness to the long lines of people wanting to get an nbi clearance. almost everyday i walk down the stairs of the LRT and be faced with an obstacle course of sorts with people getting in the way on my walk to padre faura. a couple of years later, the lines disappeared. the nbi moved its clearance system to a new building in carriedo, fully computerized and apparently fast. "apparently" being the keyword.