new year's evolution

back to normal size and it's new year's eve. one last look at the year that was 2005, a year of growth, a year of evolution.

as a tradition, new year's resolutions are made every year. at the start of 2005, i remember, my resolution was to shy away from my torpe persona. it wasn't that serious of a resolution, it just something you throw out there. i'll stop drinking, smoking, or whatever, you know you've been there; a year will pass and you'll have the same resolution. but mine unexpectedly came to be, out of necessity maybe, all of a sudden i found myself in a crowded train carrying a bouquet of pink roses.

the joy of my progress was short-lived, the early posts are proof. but reading a few entries more you'll witness the evolution of a downhearted boy to a lyrical soul that i am today. and what an emotional rollercoaster ride it was. but instead of feeling sick after the ride, i was pleased with the dizziness it gave me. i was satisfied with what i got from the experience, not what i had in mind, but a lesson nonetheless.

as for 2006, another resolution is yet to be fulfilled. it's a fresh start for everybody, let's not waste it...

may God bless us all in 2006! happy new year to everyone!

2 foot small

today was supposed to be the much awaited block reunion. the message thread on yahoo groups paraded not only the excitement of people but also the anxiety of those who can't make it. i was one of the first few to jump on the idea of having a reunion but sadly i didn't make it today.

it was a sour ending to a year of growth. my last minute bail out made a couple of friends livid. some irritated text messages were sent asking me to be there, but i already made up my mind. all i can do was apologize. one message hit a nerve. who was she to command me? they don't even know the reason behind the nonattendance...

last night as i was about to sleep, i had a vision. i had a vision of what was going to happen at the gathering. smiles will be all over the place, catching-ups and talking will be automatic. it'll be the first time in quite a while since they've seen each other. then it hit me. two years post graduation and first on the catching-up itinerary was work. i suddenly felt like i was 2 foot small. what work? i don't even have a diploma yet to be proud of.

yeah i've been there, trapped in a group where work was the main course. it's not fun. but of course no one noticed i wasn't having fun. i handled myself pretty well, my comedic mask did the trick.

so if anyone asks why i wasn't there, it's because i made a decision to lay off the masks for a while...

an early farewell

a christmas get-together slash birthday treat. the group was to meet at starbuck's shangri-la plaza. a lot has changed since my last visit there. i think i should go out more, care to join me? i was fourth to arrive. all smiles, christmas was in the air. a few conversations and something hints of a bad thing. no one dared to continue the drama, the pull of the trigger should be quick and painless. a few chats more and the bad aura seemed to disappear for awhile. i guess everybody was wearing their happy masks at this point. including me.

on to dinner, the food was great. laughters here and there. seems like old times. little did we know that it'll be one of the few remaining moments that the group would be complete. it's bad enough that one of us have secluded himself from time beyond schoolhours due to personal reasons, now comes this.

february of next year, karina will be off to china. for how long, no one really knows. 2 years maybe, more or less. the eminent first strike, loved, hated, then appreciated. (check out fear of the third strike and a halt at 1:39 for reference) im not even sure if she'd still be here come february nine. that would just be plain upsetting.

a feel sorry for her and jervin, their relationship would have to endure the walls of distance. but on the brighter side of things, this should be a good experience for her. only a few gets to travel for free. months or years on a foreign land could be great not only for her career but also in life as well. what do we know about the future right? as the old cliche goes, God works in mysterious ways.

weekend update

a month offline (blogwise) and here are some updates...

- playing for the 5th years for the second time (need i say more about my college stay?), we won the championship for basketball. though i have to say, the handling of this year's sportsfest (olympmix 2005) was a far cry from the previous years. i have to apologize to the organizers for saying this, but it pretty much sucked... sorry martha. but in all fairness, at least they held the annual sportsfest this year, unlike last year where they had to skip the event due to i dunno... maybe they just never cared. and by the way, they handed out free sportsfest t-shirts, everyone got excited i guess until they saw what was printed: "sportsfest 2004" last time i checked its already 2005 a few days more and its 2006!

- Pinoy Big Brother has ended with Nene as the Big winner. i wanted Jason to win it, but i like Nene as well, she reminds me of someone. anyway, jason had a huge check as well so i guess that's ok.

- i went to 168 last week just to see what the hoopla was all about. and what a disappointment. it was just like tutuban, if not more expensive. and don't get me started on the number of people. think of ants...

- eddie guerrero died of heart failure. and like the wrestlers, heroes or villains, tears drowned my eyes. he was a great entertainer and a man of God. Eddie, you will be missed...

snail's pace

after more than a month of hiatus, guess who's back?!

i chose not to blog hoping it would help me with my studies (is this ron talking?). well anyway, it neither helped nor held me back as far as my studies are concerned. nothing changed really. i still get online almost everyday way past midnight and there were a couple of times where i wanted to write something but chose not to in the end...

yes i see finish line, but i never realized that i was at a snail's pace. there are still too much hurdles to jump over. im still the cocky sonofagun though, i say i'll finish this race with s-t-y-l-e, style! (remember the movie blank check?). i just wish there's a skip button here somewhere, this is boring me...